Circadian Rhythm

The wine glass fell from my hands and broke the ground.
Like so many drops of red rain.
The night you followed me home to teach me what lust looked like,
from inside the bars.
The bars I counted out by name:
One, I want you.
Two, I need you.
Three, I love you.
Four, Stay with me.
You saw the bars in my eyes, and covered them with your hands.
Left with the dawn glittering all around as if you didn't notice.
Left me pacing until ten, thinking of now, thinking of then.
Awkward walks with unavailable men and the self-esteem that always gets me there.
In front of the hospital, I never go in.
I wait till ten then drop it.
The ball, the game and all.
Go to work, go to school.
Until the bruises heal.
Then go back for more.